My web designer has been suggesting I write a blog for some time. Recently he told me I really need to start a blog. (Thank you Derek!) Yes, it is on my list, I told him. The truth is I don’t have any idea what I will write about. This week ideas have been coming in. I have been putting off starting a blog for many reasons. While life gives so much material to write about, I am not confidant in my writing skills. I have been putting this off primarily because I am afraid.
Afraid that I don’t have anything to say that would be interesting or touch another person, afraid I will be judged for grammatical errors and lack of writing expertise, that what I share will be ridiculed, afraid I will offend someone, afraid I just might be noticed, afraid I will be misunderstood. So I am facing this fear, and venturing into the blog world. My intent is to get a blog post out on a weekly basis. My ego is lamenting that I don’t need to add anything else to my already long to do list!
I hope you will understand if I don’t meet this goal every single week. If there are any topics you would like to see addressed here, drop me a note and let me know. I will continually be looking for ideas. It is my hope that this blog will serve to be of meaningful value to those reading it. Here we go! Let’s see how this goes.
It seems appropriate for my very first blog post to be about Mother’s Day. For without my Mother(s), I would not be here and this blog would not exist. Today, I celebrate and honor three very special Mothers.
First, I honor Opal, the woman who adopted me at birth and raised me as her own. This is the woman I know as Mom. From her I learned strength; fierce independence; there is no such thing as a stranger; NEVER say you can’t do something; a love for the earth, birds and animals; how to cook without measuring anything; how to chop the head off of a snake and how to get a snake out of a toilet (I pray to God I never have to use these skills!); how to be a good girl scout and be prepared for anything; the value of honesty and integrity even when the consequences for these qualities are severe; what beauty is and what it isn’t.
Second, I honor Sandy, the brave woman who made the extremely difficult decision at a young age to carry me in her womb only to place me in another woman’s arms, entrusting my care and life to someone else. She has given me the greatest gift of all: life. From her I learned to do what I believe in my heart is right; to make my own choices regardless of what is deemed acceptable by society or anyone else; unconditional love; selflessness; to care and feel deeply; faith; sensitivity; compassion; kindness and redemption.
Third, I honor myself, a culmination of these two women and so much more I am unable to name. I never wanted to have children. I was afraid I would be a terrible mother. I felt so messed up inside, and I was terrified I would mess up another human being. Clearly, the Universe had a different plan for me. Once I found out I was pregnant, I was instantly in love with this little one growing inside of me. I am still in love with this precious boy (man) today. While I didn’t get to do this mothering thing perfectly, I took this role very seriously and put my heart, mind, body and soul into being the best possible mom to him. The greatest venture of my life is being his mom.
Both of these women and their spirits are deeply embedded in me. I cannot deny that I have a lot of both of them in me. They are an integral part of the person and mother I am and am becoming. Today I honor and celebrate my two Moms, the Mother in me and all Mothers and Mothers To Be. With deep gratitude and respect, Happy Mother’s Day!!